metamorphose

During the afternoon, the heat is oppressive. Not in the heavy way like the humid East, but dry and searing, like the southern deserts. And no place is it hotter than my back deck. Intensified by reflection, the sun bakes the wood while calescent wind swirls like a convection oven. The outdoor rug ingests the … More metamorphose

1981

On May 8, 1981, the Friday before Mother’s Day, my mom lost her battle with cancer. Today is the 40th anniversary of that date, and so it seems important to mark it somehow, to give the day time and attention and thought. I was a wee pre-schooler when she left, only 4 years old, and … More 1981

Ashes

The weight of it. The way it digs into my shoulders, pressing on my bones. My back is bent from the strain, my knees bowed. I am stretched thin and my heart is bruised. It’s my own weakness. It’s the burden of my children’s disappointments. It’s the sadness that crept in to our home. It’s … More Ashes

Plan

2019 was a year of change and I have been frustrated with my slowness to adjust to this new normal. I have often been disappointed in myself, and have a sense that others may well be silently weary of hearing my disdain for present circumstances (even though they were willingly chosen). My husband likened these … More Plan

Cœur et Esprit

It is difficult to overestimate the challenge of parenting a spirited child. They are relentless. They are persistent. They are not easily satisfied. They will not believe it just because you said it. The evidence does not apply to them. The “why” is never appeased. It has been easy to see the negatives in my … More Cœur et Esprit

Imprint

“We have everyday habits – formative practices – that constitute daily liturgies. By reaching for my smartphone every morning, I had developed a ritual that trained me toward a certain end: entertainment and stimulation via technology. Regardless of my professed worldview or particular Christian subculture, my unexamined daily habit was shaping me into a worshiper … More Imprint

Home by Home

Write. Write often. Write about what you remember. Write about what you see and hear and feel. Write when you’re inspired and when you’re bored. But just keep writing. This is what I have learned from Anne Lamott in her introduction from “Bird by Bird”. SO Although I think I need a laptop and a … More Home by Home

Unraveling

Imagine you have a tangled up mess of Christmas lights, and you want to know if you have enough to string your tree.  Or you want to discover how much yarn you have in a twisted up ball.  Maybe you want to wear a necklace but it’s become knotted in your jewelry box.  In each of these … More Unraveling

Cracks

There is something fascinating happening in my home these days. It actually started a while ago, but sometimes what happens right under our noses is hard to perceive. Now let me preface the following by admitting that I am inexperienced and an early observer of this development, but it intrigues me greatly and I am devouring the novelty, … More Cracks

FORTY ONE

I remember writing a poem or some short piece of prose on my 19th birthday, and I recall it had a tone of uncertainty about it.  At 19 I had no idea what I would be doing with the rest of my life – vocation, relationships, location…all were a bit of a mystery.  It was … More FORTY ONE